Before I can accept your app there's a little more that needs doing. To help I have listed a few questions- don't feel like you need to answer all of them exactly as listed, but hopefully they can serve as a guideline.
World Information
I would like more information about the world Seira lives in. What is the Alliance? Are they a political force? A military force? Are Esper Co rulers? Are they a corperation? How do they two intersect? How many planets are there? How do people travel between them? Do they require to travel at lightspeed? Jump between planets? What is space travel like?
What is society like? Specifically on Seira's planet but in general as well? What are the ideals and cultural norms she has grown up with?
What is power? How do people get power? How is it controlled by Esper Co? What does empathy mean in this context? What sort of things can those with power do? How are people with power treated in society? If Esper co control power do those with power work for them? How do Esper co provide the best for society? In general what are the technology levels? Is it high sci fi? More fantasy with some sci fi?
Personal History
I would like a bit more information here as well. More about how she grew up. Was the facility more like a work house? Was she educated? Did she have friends? What did the work entail? Did she interact with others outside her facility? What were her opinions on that?
Personality
I would like to see a much more robust personality section. How does she show the traits that you have spoken about in this section? How do her actions reflect those traits? Does she have flaws? What are her weaknesses? How do her traits interact and contradict? What are her hopes and dreams? How does she feel about flying an Aeros? Is it just a job or does it thrill her? How does she feel about her power? Is she aware of it? You also mention a being who is termporarily fused to her powers? How did this happen? Is she aware of this?
I would like a more detailed picture of who she is as a person!
Skills
I would like a more detailed explanation of the power- how it works, what it does, how she uses it. Has she had any training? Is it instinctual? Is she only able to travel so fast whilst on an aeros? Is that to do with the technology or to do with the magic? Indeed do you need to have Power to fly an Aeros?
Item
The item is fine- though I do want to check about what is inside. Is it a powerful item?
Sample
I would like to see a second sample- just to give more of an idea of the character. If possible I would like to see it as a thread. Our test drive is here if you want a place with some prompts- but a thread from anywhere will be fine!
If you have any questions or want to discuss anything with me feel free to contact me for a chat (damua on plurk, damua#1089 on discord). Please submit your revisions by the 30th January 6am.
Revisions...
Before I can accept your app there's a little more that needs doing. To help I have listed a few questions- don't feel like you need to answer all of them exactly as listed, but hopefully they can serve as a guideline.
World Information
I would like more information about the world Seira lives in. What is the Alliance? Are they a political force? A military force? Are Esper Co rulers? Are they a corperation? How do they two intersect? How many planets are there? How do people travel between them? Do they require to travel at lightspeed? Jump between planets? What is space travel like?
What is society like? Specifically on Seira's planet but in general as well? What are the ideals and cultural norms she has grown up with?
What is power? How do people get power? How is it controlled by Esper Co? What does empathy mean in this context? What sort of things can those with power do? How are people with power treated in society? If Esper co control power do those with power work for them? How do Esper co provide the best for society? In general what are the technology levels? Is it high sci fi? More fantasy with some sci fi?
Personal History
I would like a bit more information here as well. More about how she grew up. Was the facility more like a work house? Was she educated? Did she have friends? What did the work entail? Did she interact with others outside her facility? What were her opinions on that?
Personality
I would like to see a much more robust personality section. How does she show the traits that you have spoken about in this section? How do her actions reflect those traits? Does she have flaws? What are her weaknesses? How do her traits interact and contradict? What are her hopes and dreams? How does she feel about flying an Aeros? Is it just a job or does it thrill her? How does she feel about her power? Is she aware of it? You also mention a being who is termporarily fused to her powers? How did this happen? Is she aware of this?
I would like a more detailed picture of who she is as a person!
Skills
I would like a more detailed explanation of the power- how it works, what it does, how she uses it. Has she had any training? Is it instinctual? Is she only able to travel so fast whilst on an aeros? Is that to do with the technology or to do with the magic? Indeed do you need to have Power to fly an Aeros?
Item
The item is fine- though I do want to check about what is inside. Is it a powerful item?
Sample
I would like to see a second sample- just to give more of an idea of the character. If possible I would like to see it as a thread. Our test drive is here if you want a place with some prompts- but a thread from anywhere will be fine!
If you have any questions or want to discuss anything with me feel free to contact me for a chat (damua on plurk, damua#1089 on discord). Please submit your revisions by the 30th January 6am.