Before I can accept your app there's a little more that needs doing. To help I have listed a few questions- don't feel like you need to answer all of them exactly as listed, but hopefully they can serve as a guideline for the sections in bold.
Personal History
I would like a bit more of an overview of Sam's life.
What was his life like back in the company? Was he born a clone as a baby and brought up in the company? Or has he always been his 20 year old self? If so how much time has he existed for? Who was his caretaker? Was she important in the company? Were the experiments legit or was she going behind the companies back? What did the experiments entail? What was his general day to day with her like? Why did he kill her? What happened leading up to that moment? Was it premeditated or an accident that he took advantage of? Where did he go? What was his life like afterwards? Did he meet any more people? How was he treated? What did he do?
Personality
I would like to see a more robust personality section. You mentioned his caretaker cultivated his dreams and desires? What were those? If he likes attention does he actively seek people out? Has he ever had any close friends? Or does he move on quickly? What traits and characters was he drawn to in the media he learned from? Is it lonliness that makes him seek any attention even negative? Does he change how he acts around different people? How is he with authority? Does he see himself as a hero? A villain? Some other archetype? Does he have thoughts and feelings about being a clone? His upbringing? Does he feel guilt for killing his caretaker? Did he like her or was he more like her prisoner? Are any of the other clones still alive/around? How does he feel about that? Does he have a list of life experiences he wants to try? How does his living life to the fullest manifest in how he spends his every day?
Sample
It would be great if we could see another sample, ideally written in a thread if you can.
If you have any questions or want to discuss anything with me feel free to contact me for a chat (damua on plurk, damua#1089 on discord). Please submit your revisions by the 29th March, 6am GMT (countdown to help with timezone issues is here)
Revisions
Before I can accept your app there's a little more that needs doing. To help I have listed a few questions- don't feel like you need to answer all of them exactly as listed, but hopefully they can serve as a guideline for the sections in bold.
Personal History
I would like a bit more of an overview of Sam's life.
What was his life like back in the company? Was he born a clone as a baby and brought up in the company? Or has he always been his 20 year old self? If so how much time has he existed for? Who was his caretaker? Was she important in the company? Were the experiments legit or was she going behind the companies back? What did the experiments entail? What was his general day to day with her like? Why did he kill her? What happened leading up to that moment? Was it premeditated or an accident that he took advantage of? Where did he go? What was his life like afterwards? Did he meet any more people? How was he treated? What did he do?
Personality
I would like to see a more robust personality section. You mentioned his caretaker cultivated his dreams and desires? What were those? If he likes attention does he actively seek people out? Has he ever had any close friends? Or does he move on quickly? What traits and characters was he drawn to in the media he learned from? Is it lonliness that makes him seek any attention even negative? Does he change how he acts around different people? How is he with authority? Does he see himself as a hero? A villain? Some other archetype? Does he have thoughts and feelings about being a clone? His upbringing? Does he feel guilt for killing his caretaker? Did he like her or was he more like her prisoner? Are any of the other clones still alive/around? How does he feel about that? Does he have a list of life experiences he wants to try? How does his living life to the fullest manifest in how he spends his every day?
Sample
It would be great if we could see another sample, ideally written in a thread if you can.
If you have any questions or want to discuss anything with me feel free to contact me for a chat (damua on plurk, damua#1089 on discord). Please submit your revisions by the 29th March, 6am GMT (countdown to help with timezone issues is here)