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voidtreckermods) wrote2020-08-03 08:14 pm
voidtreckermods) wrote2020-08-03 08:14 pm
Memory Shares
An archive of the memories used in the Healing Waters Event.
Please note the content warnings at the top of each set of memories!
Please note the content warnings at the top of each set of memories!
Xion | Chicklet
Themes: Friendship, reuniting, failure
Memory One You duck into a room to avoid the group of students you are trying to avoid. They haven't bothered you in a while but they might and if they do... You don't want anyone to get hurt. You crouch in hiding in the doorway.
The room you have entered in though is not small, it is large. Better to call it a hall than a room. "Would you like a cup, my dear?"
You jump, spin around, summon a large key, though once you see they are no threat you let it vanish and rise from your crouch. "Would I like what?"
The man looks startled to have had a weapon pulled on him. But he smiles at you warmly. "Would you like a cup of tea, my dear girl? We have a few different kinds, and sugar and milk if you take it with such." He gently presses the comfortingly warm cup into your hands. "This one is a bit like Earl Grey: somewhat citrusy over a black tea. We're having a bit of a party, and I'd love for you to join us. My friend Crowley has only recently just arrived here. And he could use more friends."
Not all those words make sense to you, but you understand tea. Is Earl Grey a colour? You look up from the confusing drink. You think you know who he is talking about at least. "The Somebody with the car?"
He laughs "Yes," he says, stepping to the side so that Crowley was visible where he is slouching impossibly at the table. "He adores his car, though sadly the one here is not his usual. Have you already met? Splendid. He's in our House, too."
"Oh is he? Is that... good?"
"I think so," he says softly. "He's my favorite person in the whole world and I'm finally on the same side as him. But how about you go get acquainted and decide for yourself? I promise, he might pretend otherwise, but he doesn't bite."
He puts a hand on yourr shoulder and leans down. There is a very mischievous glint to his eyes, despite the benevolent smile. "Don't tell him I told you, but he's really very sweet."
"Like a best friend?" you ask, intrigued. You understand best friend. "Why would I need to decide for myself if he is your favourite person? Wouldn't you be the one to decide that?"
How is he sweet? Is this another ice cream analogy?
"Oh, no, my dear. I've long since decided that. He is absolutely my best friend. What I meant was, you could go over there and decide if he's a nice enough person to get to know, too." A gentle nudge in the right direction. "Don't just take my word for it."
"Oh. Why would he have to be a nice person for me to get to know him?"
"Why would you want to get to know someone who wasn't nice? I mean, socially; why would you want to associate them if they weren't nice to you?"
"Socially?" you ask, confused by the word. But you shrug and answer his other question. "Why would I have a choice?" she asked. "We know who we know, don't we?"
"You always have a choice. If you don't like someone, you have the choice to walk away from them and not let them know you further. And if you decide you do like someone," he says, looking up briefly at Crowley across the way with a smile, then back to you, "well, you have the choice to try and become their friend. There are so many kinds of people in the world; choose to surround yourself with ones who make you happy. It makes existence so much more enjoyable."
You are shocked. "Doesn't always mean past present and future? If that is always then I do not always have the choice. If I walked away I would have been turned into a Dusk or destroyed." You frown, thinking. "And when I first arrived here I did not want to be with anyone, and yet whenever I walked away they followed me. I tried to make a choice, but since no one liked that choice they did not allow me my choice, at least one of them brought me back to the school by force. Maybe it is because I am a Nobody? Or was one?"
"You're so much more than that." His pale eyes soften with sadness. "It's just...sometimes other people try to deny us our choice. Or sometimes you cannot act on your choice at the time, for your safety or that of someone you love. But what I meant was... Choose people who support your right to make your own choices, and you'll find yourself empowered to leave behind those that don't. Sometimes you just need a little help."
He straightens up proudly, giving a stuffy sort of wiggle and folding his hands primly over his stomach, the effect somewhat ruined, or enhanced, by a cheeky smile and wrinkle of his nose. "And if anyone says otherwise, they can take it up with me."
"I was not able to leave when I tried," you say, thinking, looking at your hands. "Not then. If I left I would be found. I was found, the first few times. But Riku was right, I couldn't stay," you say softly. "I had to be erased from their memories. When I woke up, in this place, I thought I had failed. That I still needed to die. I didn't know I already had."
You look up and gave him a small smile. "But it is alright now. My friends are here and they said that it is alright now. That everything is better. I am not a puppet anymore. Not a broken mirror or failed experiment. Now, my friends say they think I have a heart, that I actually exist." So much hope in those small quiet words. "And they would know. It is just a lot to consider, still, but... There wasn't a choice before. I do not know if I have one now. Maybe you do because you are a Somebody and have always been a Somebody. But I wasn't even a proper Nobody when I was created. Things are different here, so maybe here you are right, though."
It would be nice to have a choice. But then again. "But too many times I have seen him here, in some part. The first time he was not really here. Axel was right about that. But the second time Noa saw him too and we fought, together. I do not know when he will come back again, but when he does, there is no choice. If I don't try and stop him, many people will be hurt. But at least... at least I won't be fighting alone. And my being strong won't destroy anyone else. Won't make my friends weak." You shake your head. "So no, I don't have a choice, but thank you. You are right that I am not alone. Not here."
"My dear..." He looks quite unsure of how to handle all the information he had been given. He wrings his hands a bit and looks around the room as if it might help him find a way to make this better.
"Yes, things can be different here, for you. For many of us. Whoever 'he' is, we will help you against him." He puts a steady hand on your shoulder. "Now, if you are amenable, please do come enjoy yourself here with us. I promise to do what I can to make it safe and welcoming for you. You needn't even participate, if you're rather not. I won't pressure you to socialize. You can just be here and make yourself comfortable. Whatever you would like to do is entirely up to you; I'll support it either way."
Memory Two You are sat on a ledge, watching the sun set, three ice creams in your hand. You hear footsteps and turn, scrambling into a defensive crouch, eyes finding ways to escape. You could jump over to that other roof...
But the person who appeared. Axel...
"Roxas?", he blurts out in surprise.
Pain. As if a Heartless has tackled you. No, worse. You aren't Roxas. No matter what Saïx and Xemnas had wanted, you refuse to replace Roxas, and she refuse to drain his powers anymore. Your hands tighten around the ice cream bars, pain filling your being.
It is good that he doesn't remember you, that the spell had worked. You know that.
"No, not Roxas...", he says, trailing off slightly. "Who are you?"
It still hurts.
"Not Roxas," you whisper. "Please... just go. Forget you saw me. I... I won't come back," you say quietly. "You can have this spot. I'll.... I'll leave you alone." You are shaking, your hands trembling.
"Hey, it's OK," he says. "You don't have to leave. I'm not gonna hurt you or anything; I'm done doing those kind of icky jobs. Besides, you just... you feel really familiar," he approaches cautiously. "I know you're not Roxas, but he and I, we used to do this whenever we could. Sit up on the Twilight Town clock tower after work, have ice cream and watch the sunset. It can't be a coincidence, especially not when you've got three ice creams. Please, just... I need to know who you are."
You step back, shaking your head. "N...No, Axel. You forgot me for a reason. It... It has to be this way. Please..." You look away. "Please just... just go on forgetting me. It's the only way to save Roxas."
You can't let Roxas continue to suffer because of you, you can't. And if Axel remembereds you and has to forget again, it would hurt him too. And...
And you aren't certain you are brave enough to do this again if he remembers.
"How is me not remembering you necessary for that?", he asks. "Ienzo's already working on a safe way of separating Roxas from Sora back at Radiant Garden; I might not have all the latest updates on how it's going, but I'm pretty sure Merlin would've told me if there was anything important I needed to do for it to work."
"Separating Roxas from Sora?" You are confused.
"But... We were both split off from Sora... that... that was the whole problem... If we don't go back... if... if people remember me... Sora... can never wake up..." You stumble, your head is hurting.
"Both of you were?" What. No, seriously, WHAT. "Roxas did go back to Sora; I tried to stop him, but I wasn't able to. And Sora's been awake for months now. He's currently off on another quest, trying to get back-"
He closes the distance between you and catches a hold of your shoulder steadying you. "Whoah, careful there," he says. "This really isn't a place you want to lose your footing."
"Months? I haven't been here months, Axel... and... and I saw Roxas... just before I arrived." You too, just before that."
You look down. "Something... something doesn't make sense. And I don't think you're lying to me this time... So....?"
"I'm not lying," he assures you. "But you're right about it not making sense. The only thing I can think of, is that the magic that they used to bring both of us here must be able to bring people from different times as well as places. That's the only way you can have just been with Roxas before being pulled here. But what did you mean about both of you being split off from Sora? Who are you? I know I know you. It's right there; I can almost remember... Please, just tell me. Or let me see your face. Please?"
"If I take off my hood... you might not see me," you say softly. If Axel sees Sora's face instead of yours, or worse... nothing... You aren't sure you could stand it.
"But... how could we be from different times? We've gone on a lot of missions to other worlds, a day there always ended at the same time for each of us, that's why we could always..."
You stop yourself there, wincing at what you had almost said.
But if they were... if... if he was further ahead and you had succeeded then.... then you were done, right? If Sora was really awake.... then.... was it okay for you... to be here?
"I don't know how it all works," he says. "That kind of magic's way beyond me. But I know it can happen. Xehanort did it; brought a dozen different versions of himself from different times all together in one place. Though I think whatever did it to us might work differently; everything else here does, apparently." A pause before he continues
"But if you... you had ice cream with me and Roxas, we must've been friends, right?", He says. "That's why you're up here. That's why the three ice creams; because there were three of us. That's why Roxas said... but I thought that was a dream? He said 'You made us a promise. That you'd always be there... to bring us back.' 'Us'. Not 'me'. He said 'us'. So there were three of us! Him, me, and... and..."
He winces, pressing a hand to his head. But when he opens his eyes again, there is clear recognition in them. As well as tears. "...Xion..."
You swallow hard and nod. You want to say something, but don't know what. So, hand shaking, you lift one of the ice creams towards him. It doesn't seem to be enough, but you are utterly at a loss. Axel was always the one there when you had headaches, when you didn't understand. You don't know what to do on this side of it, don't know how to be for Axel what he had always been for you and Roxas.
His face is wet. Your face is wet. Why... why are your faces wet? Does it mean something? If it was just you you would think it meant you were somehow broken again, but Axel is a regular Nobody, he doesn't break down like you do....
"Xion...", he repeats. "Xion, it's... you're really..." He laughs at the ice cream, accepting it and pulls you into a hug.
"Xion... Man, I missed you," he says. "And I'm so sorry."
"How could you miss me if you didn't remember me?" you ask, a slight teasing note in your voice. Because that is what you know, because that you can handle. You, Axel, Roxas.. teasing each other after a hard day of work.
And... you want that back. Not the work. But... Ice cream with friends. That made sense.
Axel apologizing... makes less sense.
"I could still tell something was missing," he says. "That I'd forgotten something important. Kairi kept catching me staring at her, trying to remember... And I think I did, just for a second, when she was standing there against the sunset. She... asked me not to hold back in our training the next day, and suddenly..." He trails off. "Suddenly... it hurt. I didn't know why at the time, but now that I remember..."
"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry for dragging you back to the castle that last time. For hurting you, for lying, for... a lot of things. But mostly for being an idiot. And I should have been there for you and Roxas a lot sooner."
He pulls back a bit holding you more at arms length so he can look you in the eye. "But I'm gonna make it up to you," he says. "Both of you. And you can bet I've got that memorized."
Memory Three
She stopped before the only other figure in the room. He stood where he often stood, away from the grey sofas, as though he was apart from anything as trivial as relaxation. Though unlike Demyx and some of the others. Xion had never been anything close to relaxed in this room.
She wasn't even fully certain she understood what the word meant, just that it often applied to the way Demyx sprawled on the sofas.
She and Saïx were the only ones around. But he was the one she most feared. Him and Xemnas, but their Master rarely came to that room. He instead summoned them to the round room, as they had on the day she had arrived, the first day she could remember.
And this might be her last.
All night she had struggled to find the words to explain. She needen't have bothered. Before she could open her mouth, Saïx spoke. "You failed."
Her head dropped, looking at her boots, the hood around her face hid Saïx from view. It didn't hide her from his view, or rather, he saw her with the hood up as he saw her with it down. As a blank faced nothing. She knew that. Roxas and Axel saw her face. But the others...? Even the imposter hadn't seen her when he had pulled down her hood. Who he had seen, she didn't know. But her job had been to find and capture the imposter. And she had failed.
Finally she gave the smallest of nods.
"Failure is almost like betraying the Organization," he said, and she heard him step closer to her. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her shoulders tensed. She was about to be destroyed. She'd never have ice cream with Roxas and Axel again. Never see the sunset. Never hold her Keyblade. Never hear the ocean or hold a shell. The few small little things that made up the pale imitation of an existence even a Nobody had were going to be gone forever.
"We cannot allow anyone to betray us, you understand. Least of all a failed experiment. A thing that never should have been created in the first place."
She heard him take another step. Her head lifted, she looked at him through eyes she knew he couldn't see, had never been able to see. But they were her eyes. They were in some way real, weren't they? How could she see without eyes. She might not really exist, not all the way, but she didn't want to vanish. Not yet.
"Just give me another chance!" she begged. She heard other steps approaching. Heard Saïx take a single step back. Not like a retreat. She watched his face unable to read anything there, unable to know what was about to happen to her.
"We can't afford to expend any more chances on you." He turned his back on her. Now neither of them saw the other's face. And... It made no difference. Not really. "You were a mistake we never should have made."
She looked down at the floor again, and heard steps approaching her. Not Saïx. But who? Did it matter?
"Xion?" Roxas' voice. She couldn't.... If she had to be destroyed, she didn't want Roxas to see. She turned and fled, not sure where she was running to...